neki and melissa both let me know
(with kindness)
that all of my pictures of
the japanese account book
were upside down.
it figures.
everything has been upside down lately.
from ledger books
and their beautiful details
to the people in my life.
i thought i was paying attention.
and
i thought i could make things go as i see fit.
students' lives tossed around like baggage.
my own beautiful and gifted children struggling with grief
and upsidedownnesses.
until i was given a bit of sight,
insight, when
a loud, very loud THWACK!
of two beaver's tails
woke me up.
pay attention,
they shout.
you're needed here.
now.
i am listening.
i really am.
My life in a nutshell, Velma!!! Thwack! I hope things smooth out soon for you and your kids!!
ReplyDeleteWhen our adult children's lives go upside down, it's really hard to keep your self steady.
ReplyDeleteBig hug for all of you.
xo
cait, thwack! ocer and over. when will i ever learn?! and thank you.
ReplyDeletejudy, i know that you know. thank you.
Your ledger book is beautiful, upside down or right side up. I think the beavers were reminding you. I'm sorry to hear that life is a bit topsy-turvy for you these days. May peace and order return.
ReplyDelete(((Velma)))
ReplyDeleteresidual jet lag?
as William Gibson said in "Pattern Recognition" (2004)-
"... that Damien's theory of jet lag is correct: that her mortal soul is leagues behind her, being reeled on some ghostly umbilical down the vanished wake of the plane that brought her here, hundreds of thousands of feet above the Atlantic. Souls can't move that quickly, and are left behind and must be awaited, upon arrival, like lost luggage.”
&
"Faster"
by Margaret Atwood (from "The Tent" 2006)
Walking was not fast enough, so we ran. Running was not fast enough, so we galloped. Galloping wasn't fast enough, so we sailed. Sailing was not fast enough, so we rolled merrily along on metal tracks. Long metal tracks weren't fast enough, so we drove. Driving was not fast enough, so we flew.
Flying isn't fast enough, not fast enough for us. We want to get there faster. Get where? Wherever we are not. But a human soul can only go as fast as a man can walk, they used to say. In that case, where are all the souls? Left behind. They wander here and there, slowly, dim lights flickering in the marshes at night, looking for us, we're way ahead of them they;'ll never catch up. That's why we can go so fast: our souls don't weigh us down.
heather, beavers are good at making AWARE be REAL. wake up! and thank you.
ReplyDeletemo, these are perfect. PERFECT.
my favorite phrase that keeps me going "this too shall pass" and indeed it always does, one way or another. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThings can be so hard, especially things out of your reach. Holding thoughts of & for you.
ReplyDeletejean, yes, you know and it's a good reminder.
ReplyDeletecindi, your caring is much appreciated.