big steps

i've been working

in special education for 21 years.

and my retirement is imminent.

special ed attracted me

because the students were different.

my preference has always been working with kids who have

emotional disabilities,

especially older middle and high school kids.

especiallly in alternative educational settings.

give me a wilderness site

or an old farm

or the woods

and i blossom as a teacher.

 the stairways to learning and growing and understanding are often

hidden away,

overgrown or tucked away.

and then sometimes a gift is given

 presented for the one given it

 gifts are like that. often given

not always taken.

this is the way it is.

sometimes i see

a deer, a mink, a turkey, a heron

great blue heron

 out the window at home

giving me the gift of beauty.

i've looked up to see

a kingfisher, a flicker, an eagle

 and at night i hear owls, many frogs, woodcock, and coyote

if i'm lucky.

around here 

this rural, impoverished north country,

there is so much loss

 buildings mark what was once

 what people have left behind.

or not run over on the road. 

this one i helped across the road. i hope

i hope she laid her eggs in the soft shoulder sand.

the other morning there were nine snappers laying eggs

along the roadside in a mile stretch, and then number 10

a bit further on.

 at home i am weaving shifu and here, below, 

is a failed bit of 

needle woven hemp.

 i'm just finding my way back into making

instead of teaching full time.

transitioning away from this path has been a surprise.

there have been two celebrations for me and other retirees.

amazing.

and sadness as i leave 

some very, very

special people.