Friday, May 13, 2016

not going

it seems like i just can't push
as hard as i used to.
i'm not going to cleveland.
i'm staying 
"to home"
staying put.
trying to get my energy
back
and harness this old gray mare 
for the next few weeks before retirement.
i am tired.
i didn't know how much,
but i am.
so with regret
i'm not going,
with joy in the staying, though.
there is a soft rain this morning.
and i've been "talking" to dear felicity
and to another dear, linda
and aimee and pam.
friends support just by their very beings.
others, some in the forms of magnificent crows
hover close.

15 comments:

aimee said...

pushing hard is overrated! i am really proud of you for doing what you need right now. it has inspired me to do what i need right now! ENJOY this time.

Judy Martin said...

Velma, you are right to listen to your body. I think some times we continue to push ourselves to do things for others, that will give others hope and need, forgetting that if our watering can is empty we can't water those flowers.

I am really glad that you are going to knit yourself back together with some home time solitude.

grace Forrest~Maestas said...

the photograph...last one...can you say something
about it? it's incredible

Trace Willans said...

always go where the JOY tells you to. And if it ain't easy don't do it. These are my current motto's.
x te

Ms. said...

Lovely to make a wise decision. Hard to give up expectations too, I know.
But the right choice always brings relief, and besides, it's the time for renewal, strengthening winter worn fibers, dandelion tea and nettle soup and afternoon naps.
Be super kind to yourself.

Ms. said...

PS
about nettles:
http://www.terriwindling.com/blog/2016/05/from-the-archives-picking-nettles.html#comments

blandina said...

Recognizing and accepting our limits is one of the privilege of aging.

Felicity said...

my ambition is to be a magnificent crow! or if I can't manage that, then a magnificent crone :)

I have been weaving a little shifu this afternoon, using your beautiful elongated bone needle and sending lots of love to the northern hemisphere

xxx

Mo Crow said...

(((Velma))) enjoy the wind down

Penny said...

Always a good idea to listen to your body. I always seem to take on more so perhaps I am turning into Felicity's crone. But had a lovely day in a workshop today. Now I am tired!! A lot on next week. Take care.

Fiona Dempster said...

Ahh V - wisdom. A privileged knowledge we gain. Sometimes hard, but often times rewarded. Take much care as you re-calibrate and work through these last few weeks. Go gently...

Velma Bolyard said...

aimee, you are the best of friends!
judy, i love that image: knitting myself back together
grace, a cattle chute taken from one side in the snow.
trace, you are so right!
michelle, thanks. nettles are not ready yet, but i loved reading about them (i feel like milkweed is our nettle here--all that goodness!) and i loved terri's post!
blandina, i love that privelege. hadn't thought of it that way. perfect.
felicity, you may already be both, or at least birthing both! i am so happy you're weaving shifu with that needle!!!
mo, thanks! i will try to relax a bit.
penny, we are all crones in training here (except aimee, who only gets in because we love her, not by age)
fiona, i appreciate your reminder to go gently. i wasn't, but i will try.
fiona,

Liz Ackert said...

The last month of school is always the toughest ... hang in there, say "no" as often as need be, and know there are better days ahead. Happy days!

Barry said...

Hi V - one of the most difficult things I think - listening to one's body and acting on its advice. It takes strength and wisdom to say my body tells me it needs a break so I'm going to sit and l;et it heal and re-energise. May the weeks to retirement be calm; and may retirement be rewarding. B

Velma Bolyard said...

liz, you are so right, and it's the last month ever, too!
barry, you are right. i kept thinking it was all done, and i needed more time...and it's ok NOT to push!

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