Sunday, October 5, 2014

kicking and screaming

  3x6 shifu
a folio
plus a stack of papers
contact printed with
 wild grapes and sumac and goldenrod and rose
in response to frustration
in retaliation to that feeling of being devalued and used. 
today i saw over 20 wild
turkeys and deer.
everyone is moving, 
it's autumn and there is unrest.
yep, that's how i've been feeling
if it's not my tooth, 
one or the other,
it's work, 
a huge challenge this year.
friday i came home
to a package of my work,
returned from an invitational show.
part of the work is missing completely.
two pieces, shifu, one a very special piece.
hopefully they will come in another box.
in good shape.
but i have doubts because
another large paper piece was returned. 
folded. folded.
12 kozo panels, long and narrow, hung together as a series...
they were hand delivered, neatly rolled in a wooden box.
now the panels are folded.
all weekend i have been in that place
you go when you have been 
attacked somehow, when your work
is devalued. 
i can't understand how this happened,
i hope the other two pieces
are returned.
i have my doubts.
another solace is this place
still no functioning kitchen
but getting closer 
to habitation.
the west porch bridge, the south face,
and stucco foundation
at the new place.
some things are very good.


Jack Oudyn said...

Holy Hell how horrible! Hard to imagine anyone being so bloody insensitive and careless. Hope the rest turns up. Thank goodness for the wild turkeys and deer, what a fabulous spot you must live in.

Anonymous said...

holy hell, alright ! ....geez. i'm so sorry, velma. i gotta say though, that new work you just created is hauntingly person even more so, right ? sorry for your frustration and heartache....i don't understand irreverence for beautiful things. but i do understand your passionate response !

therese said...

uh, that was from me....didn't mean to be anonymous.

Fiona Dempster said...

oh Velma I feel sick to my stomach reading this - how dreadful dreadful dreadful. It's so hard to believe that they could treat art work they have selected in such a cavalier manner. I hope (against hope) that your other pieces arrive separately and safely...
on a brighter note the house is looking grand! Go well

Ms. said...

Th house is good to focus on. It's a very fine house and soon to be a home. So difficult this feeling of being devalued, and how we can't control that, how, by sharing ourselves, we are at the mercy of forces beyond our command. Times like these I think about how that is a kind of fact of life in the material it informs us of our place in the order of things. It's humbling once the anger releases in to grief, and the grief subsides. So long as we are alive, there will always be opportunity to make more work, to continue in love, to soften the edges and sharpen our practice. Here is a song I love sent with love to you:

Ms. said...

The song again in case that LINK didn't carry over--

neki desu said...

oh geezzz i feel for you. focus on the huse, that place you can go to when all's f**** up.

lotta said...

Oh my goodness. I hope this is not the venue that I think it may be from... how can anyone inviting a papermaker to show their work and then treat it like this upon return. Have you been in touch with them? Any response? The house looks fabulous. Let it bring peace.

Velma Bolyard said...

jack, thanks, and it is a fabulous spot. my sister saw a bear last week and coyotes sing me to sleep. but oh!
therese, you are never anonymous, and thank you.fiona, many thanks, i am anxious for the mail later today.
ms, it was a funny sort of anger, left me speechless and damaged, and didn't matter at all. i have to guard against letting it devalue myself. the house is close to ready!
neki, yep!
lotta, it is. and it is. thanks.

Debbie said...

This shows a complete lack of respect for the artists this gallery shows, I can't understand this attitude.
I understand where you are at and hope you can find peace in your home and surroundings.

Anonymous said...

Tell me who did this to you and I will take care of it.
Your big sis...

Sharmon Davidson said...

OMG - folded? That's terrible, so disrespectful and just downright ignorant. I hope your other pieces do get returned. The house looks wonderful, though.

Anonymous said...

- it breaks my heart, the lack of respect, lack of integrity, no understanding of art or the people who make it. surely they will find those two missing pieces and return them - with apologies - not that they make much difference. It is hard to shake those feelings, don't let them cast a shadow over your true nature. You will find solace in the nature that surrounds you and the new house so close to finished. the school year doesn't sound good, hope it improves. Hugs.

Velma Bolyard said...

debbie, where i live always is good. i count on the land to be solace, as well as mother.
claudia, you are the BEST!
sharmon, me, too, thanks
jean, mine, too. i have big hopes, still.

Leena said...

I, so sorry, I agree with everything said in other comments, I hope you find peace in the nature around you.

Velma Bolyard said...

leena, thank you. the natural world is certainly where i find solace, peace, and laughter, too.

Barry said...

Hi V - feel for you - our works have little fragments of ourselves and so damage and loss feel like a bit of ourselves has been taken; but it is good to see the new place taking shape and will soon be able to nuture your spirit. Go well. B

Velma Bolyard said...

thanks, barry, it's yet to be sorted completely, but it's, like the newly broken tooth, being worked on! all will be well.

jude said...

beautiful, and some things are inexcusable really.

Mo Crow said...

oh yikes x fingers the other two pieces have shown up safe & sound Velma!
re the folded work, can you dampen them and sit them under weights? that worked for me a couple of years ago when one of my drawings was damaged by the framer.

Velma Bolyard said...

mc and all, the two missing pieces are found! and mc, i will have to wet them and weigh them, i was upset that they were so thoughtlessly handled.

Trace Willans said...

This really is inexcusable, glad to hear that the other work has been found. Has there been any sort of apology for this? Makes everyone pause and think about work that is sent out into the world without our supervision. Makes you want to set up a website where people can publicly tell stories about how places have treated them as a warning to other artists. The sad things is this could very well happen to someone else.

Velma Bolyard said...

trace, there has been an apology, and concern, but as far as satisfaction...

Sarah said...

I'm horrified. And so so sorry. Whoever did that simply shouldn't be working there as they clearly have no clue what they are handling.

The piece above I find beautiful.

Velma Bolyard said...

sarah, i appreciate your writing and thank you.

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