this week: a little bit better

i pass this every morning on my way to school

 and this on the way home

 on friday,

amish farmers getting in the corn

 two young heifers visited my driveway the other day

 and on the other side of the drive

wild grapes

 cattail

 fiber

always looking for fiber

 thistledown

prickly wonderful

 tiny seed fibers

big arbor vitae bast fiber

mostly deep under and inside 

on this fence post

 and color

 the colors of the meadows

just perfect

and the big moon above.

autumnal equinox.

it's time.

time to get some studio work done.

almost time, that is.

perspective, focus, and weariness

 following this ragged trail of september

an ecotone called illness

 has me thinking about looking

and focus

looking in or at

not being in 

framing experience and telling the story

 has everything to do 

with focus

perspective

 and so last night

i went for the first walk in days and days

 it felt just right

known

abundant

sparkling in newness

 saturated in familiarity

 it's all in how you see it

how you be in it

 as the light

following the sun's lead

began to fade

 i found a rosy blessing over the meadow

painted a few high leaves, even

something to reassure and hold.

~~~

my sister, bless her, checked herself out of the hospital

after a second noisy roommate 

rudely arrived.

she's home with her daughter helping.

wild tales of the plucky bolyard gals,

a trip out of the big floods on the big thompson,

the intricacies of modern medicine

and some time at home to heal.

thank you for your thoughts, prayings, helps,

i've passed them all on.

(this has all been difficult because 

it's the beginning of school and newnesses all around,

and we both work with high schoolers.)

feeling cooked

focus here

has come a bit undone

with a madly unexpected middle of the night trip to the hospital

with my very ill sister

preparations and phone calls,

tests and tubes and beeping

sitting and being

in the ugly rooms of the place of healing.

my life on hold

while i attend to what's not only necessary

but is my sacred privilege.

but oh, it is exhausting work.

she is bettering, her far flung children are 

winging back. (one through the mad floods of colorado) 

makes me think

about some of jude's recent words

focus. spectrum. listening deeply.

relief

thank you all

for your good wishes.

the finger is healing well AND

there seems to be no damage to the tendon.

PHEW!

 you know,

paper, 

before and after

 i read this.

you should, too

solace in old farm land

helps keep me sane

as i navigate through new things

at work.

the kids?

as always, i love them.

monday monday...

...can't help that day.

today: a sick day. already.

rats.

what happened? 

last night i smashed my own finger,

(my precious finger, the one with the tendon hurt 

then healed a while back)

in the ups box. HARD. 

yep. it's nasty, but the tendon is intact. 

the cut/bruise

is right at the nail and tendon attachment.

ugh.

 i need a distraction,

so here's some gold

 habu linen

 that i spun up

a while back-not today

 into a lovely thread

 slippery and strong

and ready to weave.

hopefully the finger will actually heal as quickly

as the swelling went out of it.

constant ice and ointment

are helping.

geesh!

teaching

tuesday after labor day

i went back to school

meetings meetings meetings

and finally, on thursday, students.
a very good class.

aimee remembered how it is for me

and sent this

and see-there's still

indigo on my thumbnail!

from long ridge, where nancy

brewed a mighty vat!

my heart will remember this

 and this very large squishy one

 early september sky

 and in another direction, this.

~~~

there has been,

while i was away at work

not attending,

a turning towards winter.

we slipped over the edge

and there's no going back

only reminders.

sightings and change

 hosta leaf

found dried and stitched

with stains and holes

 hold it against the light

light it up, i say,

and look at this

look at the architecture holding this

together as it fades

it will be paper

or glimpses of thoughts

 as will the flicker's few feathers 

left

 a small collection that i love

a new draftsman to me

but not really

baskin's works dance throguh my dreams sometimes

and then they're nightmares

 i was shappy to find this

 and this one found me

 a jewel for you

to heal your hurts

 as will this light show

 first day back at work today

meetings today and tomorrow

and then kids on thursday

the school year commences.

a new program,

a new school, a classroom!

changes.