barns and oats insurance

the elements are having their way with my barn

some boards still hold integrity, 

some not

next to my mare mist's old stall

lies some evidence of occupation

or at least of eating.

 hay mow diamonds

dazzle on these august days

 and i made a few summer prints

these colors softened some

from the morning light

 just enough for one book

 i went over to my classroom today

and found that the floors were newly waxed

i barefooted it to my room

and worked for 40 minutes

and slunk away

before the custodian found me.

 one amish farm's oats against the cold

  looking up

(ian spent some quality time with our old barn)

 and here

thinking of all the turmoil of the last few weeks.

now i am home

getting used to sleeping at the new place

while i live

still

in the old one.

it should feel weird, but it's ok.

 today i listened to some podcasts,

after rediscovering the one aimee did of me for

full tilt bookbinding.

it was pretty fine

and i now know that

susan mills is doing a really great job.

susan was in my women's studio workshop class.

many thanks to all of you

for your kindnesses while i managed this challenging fortnight

 on the sidelines supporting my kids

through the loss of their father.

i let them know of all your kindnesses.

it matters.

endings

families gather 

in good and in troubled times

 nephew rob with son ian

ian outgrew the big guy

(his childhood hero)

rob traveled with his youngest daughter

to help my sister post-surgery 

erin came to entertain us all

after their dad's death but before the service

my kids cleaned out their stuff

and the attic

it was a huge, dirty, hot job

but it's done

ian met the new place

and said goodbye to his old one

goodnight room

my house is on the market

so i, too, can move 

down the road a piece.

90 acres, no mule, good karma.

pause

hannah and ian's dad passed early this morning.

thank you all for your caring.

it's huge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

our family is waiting. 

my children are gathering 

at my ex's home

welcoming the other relatives

(not mine) 

as their father transitions

from life to death.

it's very sad.

we all know this, 

and we know how hard it is 

in every sense

to let go and also to be patient.

so i wait in the wings 

and appear as the support person from time to time.

this is how my summer is winding down.

i barely reached home from longridge

making plans for one last little trip.

but instead i will be here now. 

sandra taught us this: 

be here now. 

autumn's tease

transitioning to home

sandra brownlee gifted us

with world enough and time

five days

enough being there

and enough safety to laugh

to be quiet

to think and work

in ways new and in safe emotional space

i can't remember one guarded or sarcastic word.

so we had individual time with sandra

and in this sacred space

another student, lynda shalagan, painted our exchange.

under nancy's apple tree.

 

 our lines, a poem

 sandra shared a book by hedi kyle

 the font

 mending words

 some bugs

 "touch"

 sacred things

 oriface: hay

 dear therese inside a big paper

 all of us in the barn

 for the one who couldn't come

 ~~~

and here, here is a book

made by my student lynn keffer

at w.s.w.

so lovely.

(apologies to those who i didn't have time to ask permission of:

we're in a bit of a crisis here)

paper day

once again i am at long ridge

a student

sitting with a group of amazing women

at long ridge farm.

sandra brownlee arrived here with her valise of wonders

a few books to share

thoughts and ideas and an exquisite gentleness

as we build tactile notebooks.

this is an object of delight she brought along:

 it's from kyoto

it's kozo (i think) stitched with paper thread

 so i sat one of my little pieces 

of flax stitched with paper thread on it

and snapped a portrait

 it is so familiar it feels like i made it

 sandra was told it was part of a costume

which puts me in mind of some of the shifu/stitched/flax pieces 

mary ann mackeller makes

 several of us are here

gathered together from far and wide

in this safe space that sandra has created for us to work in

taking brave steps

or just steps

being here

being present.

 i love therese's ripped strip of paper

i met up with two friends

as i write i realize they are both former students 

jennifer and therese

there it is, 

hiding behind that red cup

 sandra's valise

from which she took

this

and other wonders

 like these

a home in the sheep pasturage.

yesterday was PAPER day.

we made a little recording of paper

after i explained rattle 

(papermakers all know this term)

and how we listen for it as we evaluate paper.

we made a little recording, too.
~~~ then there's this for thinking about:
http://blogs.bodleian.ox.ac.uk/theconveyor/2014/06/06/texts-and-textiles-finding-manuscripts-in-unusual-places/

a little getaway

 in maine for a wee while

before going to longridge 

to meet and work with sandra brownlee
but first a visit with 
hannah 

 my nephew rich

his species list for the day 

was longer than mine,

but he taught me new birds: 
gannet, puffin, and others i've heard of

but never seen.

 and he said this was not a big cruise ship!

 leaving the harbor

i admit i couldn't focus
on photos
i was way to thrilled

 puffins swimming amongst their friends
petite manan island

 endlessness and 

well

big swells. 

our five had two a little sick

one really sick,
so they retreated to the rear.

 i was in the bow 

thrilled and flying

it was like riding and jumping

sorta

and then i heard the breath

of the big fin whale

 impossible to photograph in my excitement

 and after four hours on the ocean,

out of bar harbor

we had a BIG lunch

"don't," she said

but i did.